A Good Man
by Madame Atomic Bomb
Summary: Suki tries to comfort Zuko, who must make a hard decision he may not be able to live with.


"Zuko?" Suki called, hesitating at the door as she spotted the Fire Lord slumped on a stool, his hands on his knees, his head hanging. He looked up at the sound of her voice.

"Suki...come in," he said in a heavy, weary voice she knew well. Something was troubling him. She had a feeling she knew exactly what that was. "Did you need something?"

"No, I just wanted to check on you," she said, gently easing the door to his office closed. She walked silently over to him, spying the haggard expression on his face, and the dark circles beneath his eyes.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, rubbing at his bloodshot eyes with the heels of his palms.

"No, you're not," she said, dropping to her knees in front of him. He didn't seem startled by the movement, or her closeness, but the look he gave her was wary. She reached out and took one of his hands in her own. "You've not been sleeping, have you?"

"Not much," he admitted and then sighed, hanging his head again. He squeezed her fingers, bringing her hand to his chest. "I keep having nightmares."

Suki hesitated, and then put her other hand on his knee. "I know. I...I hear you, sometimes. When I'm patrolling. I don't want to intrude-"

"You're not," he said quickly, his voice raw as he lifted his head and met her gaze. "Suki, I don't know what to do."

"It's the execution, isn't it? Talk to me," she urged as he studied her face. "I don't know if I can help, but... I want to. I want to help."

"I know you do," he said softly. "And you're right. It is about Tei-Jhing. His execution is tonight, Suki."

She nodded, stroking his knee with her thumb. "It's all anyone can talk about."

"As the Fire Lord, I have the power to stop the execution. To commute his crime to a life sentence," Zuko said, although she already knew that, just as she had known that it had been keeping him awake for weeks, agonizing over his power to save a man's life.

Tei-Jhing was a murderer. He had burned his entire family to death in their home with his bending, and then cut a swath across the island nation, killing at will. The manhunt for Tei-Jhing had gone on for months.

By the time Zuko's guards had captured him, he had murdered over twenty people, and left several people scarred for life. One woman, a server in a tavern, would never see again, and she had lost both of her hands to the flames.

Tei-Jhing's trial hadn't lasted long. He had pleaded guilty, and he'd bragged about his crimes. There had been no remorse from him, not even after the judge had given him the death penalty. Tei-Jhing had not appealed his conviction, but he had laughed at his victims in the courtroom.

"I know what he did... He's a monster. He's not remorseful. He bragged about his crimes... And I believe the world would be better if he were not in it," Zuko said slowly. "So why is this bothering me so much, Suki?"

She smiled a little and reached up, brushing a strand of his hair back from his face. "Because you're a good person, Zuko. Tei-Jhing is a terrible person, but he is a _person_. It's not easy to sit back and let a man die when you know you have the power to save them. No matter who that person is, or what they've done."

"I could save his life," Zuko said. "I saved my father's life."

"That was different."

"How so? My father was every bit the same monster as Tei-Jhing, maybe more so. He had an entire army ready to burn the Earth Kingdom to the ground, and its people with it. I could have had him executed, but instead he's rotting in a prison cell, without his bending...a shell of a man. Why is Tei-Jhing more deserving of death than my father? Doesn't that make me a hypocrite?"

"Your father was a different case, and you know that," Suki said softly. "Despite everything, he's your _father,_ and putting the old Fire Lord to death would have put a stain on your reign. Without his bending your father poses no threat. Tei-Jhing still has his Firebending. He's still a threat, and your people found him guilty and handed him a judgment they felt appropriate."

Zuko's eyes squeezed shut. "What if I commute his sentence?"

"Then he rots in prison."

"And his victims and the families he tore apart see no justice. They want him to die," Zuko said grimly. "I would deny them their justice because I hate the idea of murdering a man."

She thought a long moment and then squeezed his hand. "If Tei-Jhing came into this room right now, and tried to murder you, or me, or any of your people in this palace, what would you do?"

"I'd stop him."

"Would you kill him? If he gave you no other choice, would you murder him to stop him from killing me?"

"Absolutely," Zuko said with conviction. "I know what you're saying, Suki. Killing to protect someone, in self-defense, is different from standing there and letting a man die."

"I know it is," she nodded. "And you do, too. That's why this feels wrong to you. Zuko, you're a protector. In a fight, you'll kill if you have to, but this? This isn't a fight. This is the execution of a man bound helplessly to a pyre... That's why it feels wrong, unfair."

"You think I should save him?"

"I didn't say that," she said carefully. "Tei-Jhing is guilty. He deserves whatever punishment he gets. By the laws of the Fire Nation, the death penalty is a just and appropriate punishment. But...so is spending the rest of his days in the Boiling Rock, in cold isolation. His victim's families won't see that as justice, perhaps, but nothing— _nothing_ —that happens to Tei-Jhing will bring their loved ones back, and they will realize that with time, even if he's put to death. Vengeance rarely brings peace. They will never be able to live with what happened, so you have to make the decision _you_ can live with. So what can you live with?"

"I don't know. I feel like commuting his sentence makes me appear weak. It may send the wrong message to other criminals. That harsh punishments for terrible crimes won't be enforced."

"Mercy isn't weakness, Zuko."

"Tei-Jhing doesn't deserve mercy," Zuko said softly. "Perhaps if he were remorseful...if he acted like he cared... But he doesn't. He's proud of his crimes. He's already harmed several guards, and four inmates in the short time he's been incarcerated. He is a monster."

"That is true," she said as Zuko's fingers wound tightly around hers. She poured as much strength into him as she could, hoping he could feel it, that he could find his footing and his answers just by the touch of her skin against his. "But you believe he might change, given time."

It wasn't a question. She knew Zuko too well to believe Zuko would think otherwise. He looked at her in vague surprise, something naked and open in his gaze as he studied her face.

"Everyone is capable of changing. He could change, if given time and motivation. I believe that, I do."

"Because you changed."

Zuko touched her face with the tips of his fingers, sending warm sparks down her skin. "Yes."

"You were always a good man, though. Astray, yes, but...at heart... At heart you _wanted_ to be the man you are now. The shape of him was inside of your skin. You just had to grow to fit him."

"But I didn't always know that. Maybe he doesn't either. Maybe he could learn. Maybe he could change. I don't know. I don't even know if he deserves the opportunity to try. And I don't know if it's up to me to decide that. What should I do, Suki?"

"What is your heart telling you?"

"I don't know," he said and hung his head again, his hand dropping. She touched his shoulder, sitting up on her knees and putting her forehead against his. He didn't flinch away, but grasped onto her tightly, like a lifeline. "I don't know a damned thing."

"You'll do what you think is best, whatever that is. I believe in you."

"Why do you believe in me, Suki, when I don't believe in me half of the time?"

"Because I know you're a good man, Zuko," she whispered, stroking the back of his neck. She felt a shiver go through him, and the hands he had put to her waist tightened and then spread up her back. "No matter what you choose, that will never change. You have to make a choice you can live with."

Zuko held onto her, his eyes closed as he breathed in and out slowly, his breath warm on her lips. She didn't pull away—didn't _want_ to pull away. He stroked her back and held her tightly between his knees.

"I'm not going to stop the execution," Zuko said softly after a long, long time. He lifted his head from hers and stared at her with solemn eyes filled with determination. "My people have made their judgment according to the laws of the Fire Nation, and handed down a punishment they deemed appropriate. As their Fire Lord, it is my duty to back their decision, whatever the cost to my conscience. I stand by my people, and I stand by our laws."

She nodded, but said nothing. When Zuko hung his head again, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his forehead. His eyes closed and he took a shuddering breath. The hands on her back moved down to her hips again.

"Have I made the right decision?"

"I'm not sure there was a wrong one," she said softly as his head rested on her shoulder. Her hand spread in his hair and she felt his body quiver beneath her touch, like a plucked bowstring.

"I think he deserves to die, Suki. I do. I just wish..."

"You didn't have the power to stop it."

"Yes. Does that make me a coward? To want a man dead, but not the responsibility?"

"No. Only a man like Tei-Jhing would want to hold another person's life in their hands," she said gently, with a small, sad smile that he didn't see. His arms tightened, drawing her closer.

"I'll learn to live with it, then."

"That's all any of us can do."

Zuko pulled her even closer, wrapping his arms around her until she was pressed hard against his chest, his face buried in her neck. She didn't say anything, just stroked the back of his neck, his hair, trying to soothe the weight from his shoulders by sheer force of will.

They sat that way for a very long time.

 _(end)_


End file.
